My new book, The Perfectionism Workbook for Teens, will be available in just a couple weeks! To celebrate, I am running a five-part series highlighting some concepts from the book. I’ll talk about some different ways perfectionists struggle, and offer some tools for change. (By the way, although my book is technically aimed at teens, […]
My new book, The Perfectionism Workbook for Teens, is available now! To celebrate, I am running a five-part series highlighting some concepts from the book. I’ll talk about some different ways perfectionists struggle, and offer some tools for change. (By the way, although my book is technically aimed at teens, a lot of the tools work […]
Myth: If I stop being a perfectionist, I won’t be successful, ambitious, or hardworking anymore. Truth: Your perfectionism is not actually helping you achieve; in fact it’s probably holding you back! Perfectionism often causes anxiety, stress, depression, and other feelings that get in the way of your thinking clearly or creatively. Perfectionist behaviors like procrastination […]
Want a free copy of my new book, The Perfectionism Workbook for Teens? Enter the Goodreads Giveaway! Starting a new school semester? Perfectionism loves to show up at this time of year to create impossibly high expectations, unrelenting anxiety, and debilitating self-criticism. Here are three ways perfectionism gets in the way — and what you […]
Perfectionism doesn’t just impact your mood, self-esteem, and productivity. It can also cause real harm to romantic partnerships. Here are a few direct and indirect way perfectionism gets in the way of you having the relationship you want: Your partner feels helpless as they watch you suffer. You are likely very aware of the pains […]
Couples often come to counseling in hopes that the therapist will be a referee, declaring a winner and a loser in each argument. For a lot of people, being “right” is really important. They lay out evidence, argue about who said what when, focus on facts and ignore feelings. Being right feels good for a […]
“So much of [what] leads individuals to seek therapy can be traced to the terror of affect. People disconnect from their emotional experience, afraid of being overwhelmed, humiliated, or revealed as inadequate by the force of feelings, only to pay the price later in depression, isolation, and anxiety.” –Diana Fosha, founder of AEDP Fear of […]
December is a month of endless holiday party invitations, which for some people means endless social anxiety. It’s exhausting and uncomfortable to try to appear witty and graceful around acquaintances you want to impress. It’s draining to be “on” every night of the week. You want to have a few drinks to loosen up, but […]
Perhaps you read that article about how having a first child brings about as much unhappiness as getting fired or divorced. It’s not that surprising when you think of it — for all the joys of having a baby, there is also sleep deprivation, stress, and the feeling that you don’t know what the hell […]
On face value, it seems like a simple equation: depression and anxiety are making my life painful, so I want to reduce or get rid of those feelings. But change is rarely simple. When you are working to change entrenched patterns, you almost inevitably come up against a particular roadblock: fear of who you will […]